A Conversation with 4-Year-Old

Me: "Avery, we need to talk about yesterday when you were suppose to be napping. First of all, why were all of my shoes out of my closet?"

Avery: "I didn't do that, Kendall did and was trying them on."

Me: "No, that is called a lie. She was never upstairs today."

Avery: "Oh."

Me: "Secondly, why was my library card on the floor in my room, bent in half?"

Avery: "I don't know. That was your library card? I'm sorry."

Me: "Thirdly, how come the bottle of lotion that was on my dresser was laying on the floor?"

Avery: "Well, my arm was dry."

Me: "Ok, but why was it on the floor?"

Avery: "It felled over there."

Me: "Well, that is kind of far for it to fall. Did it fly-fall like Buzz Lightyear?"

Avery: "Yup, just like that."

Me: "Alright. Well, no more going in my room and wrecking my things. You wouldn't like it if I broke your things so please don't break mine anymore. Ok?"

Avery: "What's fourth?"

Me: "There isn't a fourth. Did you hear what I said?"

Avery: "Yes, I did. I'm sorry, Mommy. Now, I need to talk to you. First, you are mean."

Me: "Why? What did I do?"

Avery: "Yesterday morning you were mean to me."

Me: "What did I do?"

Avery: "I don't know, but you were mean. Second, you didn't let me play playdoh."

Me: (while trying to maintain composure) "Is there a third?"

Avery: "Yes. Third, you dusted and didn't let me watch a movie."

There was a fourth thing but for the life of me I can not remember what it was. It must not have been very funny.

Avery continues: "Five, you hit me."

Me: "No I didn't."

Avery: "No, you didn't."  Walks away laughing and giggling.

I kind of feel like I just got awe snapped by a four-year-old.